Turning on a light is no longer an easy task. After 30-plus years of flipping a switch up for on, I now have to flip it down. And the light switch that you think should belong to a light? Doesn't. Usually, it is the switch that is the furthest from the light. Except in the family room. In the family room, the light switch that you think is the right switch - actually is. So I enter a room and now have to think: The one you think is wrong - is actually right. And up is actually off, whereas it used to be on. The family room being the exception where all I have to remember is: right light switch, wrong flip.
But the lights that drive me absolutely nuts are the lights in the master bath. All our bathroom light switches are in the hall. Which means if the SP is coming in late, or getting up early, he has to turn on the light before he can shut the door. Not my favorite thing when I am sleeping. And the light above the medicine cabinet? It flickers on.
ZZZT....ZZZT.....Blink......Blink....Blink....blinkblinkblinkHMMMMMMMM.
It sounds and looks just like a B horror flick.
The ceiling light? It only turned on only when it felt like it. You never knew. Somedays it came right on, others it couldn't be bothered. Until it just didn't come on for several days.
So, I changed the bulb.
Only it STILL didn't come on all the time! I figured maybe, perhaps, I had a wattage issue. I tried a 60 watt. Then I tried the 40 watt. None of this made the light happy. It only worked when it wanted to.
Finally, I called someone.
"Madam," he informs me, "I screwed the light in tighter and now it works."
NO!
That is exactly what I said. No. Cuz me? I know how to screw in a lightbulb. I protested. That absolutely was not the problem. The light only works occasionally - like right at that moment. But that didn't mean it was fixed. Did they check to see if I had a short?
"Madam. I screwed the light in tighter. See? It is working."
My parting words, "You'll be back. That did not fix the light. You'll be coming back!"
For the last few weeks, instead of cursing the light for failing to work, I've been cursing it for working.
Please don't come on. Dammit! Please tell me I was right. Dammit!
Until this week. The last few days, it didn't come on right away. And today? IT DIDN'T COME ON AT ALL!!!!!
Only now? I'm worried. What if the bulb just needs to be replaced? What if the bulbs here are only meant to last 4, 5 weeks tops? What if I call them back, and all they do is SCREW IN THE LIGHTBULB?
I can't decide. What is worse? Putting on make-up by the dim light above the medicine cabinet and risk looking like a two-bit whore, or looking like a jerk because I can't figure out how to change a light bulb. Right now? I'm thinking the whore is the better way to go.
11 comments:
Compared to most people here in Cairo, I have had a good run with light bulbs.. until recently, when everyone that I CAN'T possible reach even with the step ladder has burnt out. And then someone tells me that the oil companies do not let their staff change light bulbs because an expat did that a while back and got zapped and died.. so now they always have to call an electrician. Is your electricity earthed?
We have flourescent fixtures that I call for help to change - we got zapped a couple times by them. I tried to explain this to the electrician... but they just replace the bulbs (and often the melted starter box) 'See, it works!' ... nevermind. Those, and the stupid halogen lights ... I always call for help with. We have at least 7 different types of bulbs needed in our apartment - how insane is that? People may think we are crazy to complain about something like this - but I hear you! With the random burn outs, switch location, and up/down patterns! Lights should NOT be so difficult!
First of all I loved that picture of that totally cool light fixture.
Secondly, I can feel you only in the way that I spent 45 minutes on the phone with the cable people because I couldn't get internet and it turned out I had unplugged the linksystem box a few days before. Uh duh.
Thirdly, listen, go for the two bit whore for a couple days (only cause that's so fun to say) then call the flippant little man and have him come screw them in tighter, although do not mix the two! ;)
Up here in China we have some crazy fixtures, too. Some blink, some explode, many just burn out in a few days. So rather than deal with it, I just call the friendly neighborhood maintenance guys when enough lights are burnt out, and they go thru the whole house changing bulbs. Probably also talking about how incompetent I am since I don't change them myself.
Oh no, I couldnt call him back. Can you find a way for your husband to be there when the guy comes back??
You and your commentors are making me feel so grateful I'm here in Germany. That would drive me crazy.
yes, that's my motto, as well. always always play the whore. eek.
since i've lived overseas, i've become allergic to simple household tasks. and i don't even feel guilty anymore...
we just won't be able to survive in the states anytime soon, though. talk about a barbaric way of life! changing my own lightbulbs?! {shudder.}
I hear ya. We've got the freaky light switch outside the door thing for the bathrooms too. I can NOT understand why that is. My son used to think it was funny to turn it off when I was in there, like in the shower? Haha, see if Santa brings you anything this year.
People don't get how incredibly different even the simplest things are when you move overseas. Like flushing a toilet? Umm, very different here as well. It's an ugly gigantic button on the wall, not a toggle thingy on the toilet tank (cause there is no toilet tank).
And our lightbulbs are always going out. We've changed the same set for the stairwells three times in the 7 months since we've lived here. I feel like I am a lightbulb junkie.
I hope you get it sorted and I'd go whore too. I hate looking like a dumb person when I am NOT one!
Yeah I have to say I would look like a whore rather than admit I couldn't screw in a light bulb.
In Jakarta we had a light fixture in the entry hall with a switch DIRECTLY under it. Did that freakin' switch turn on the light? No it turned on the one at the top of the stairs. You had to cross the entry way to the staircase to turn on the entry way light. Fat lot of help that was. The switches worked wrong there too, down was on.
The topper though was every time time a light bulb blew (2-3 times a week) it would knock out the electricity to the room or sometimes the whole house. During Rainy season I bought a lot of candles because I was not about to go outside in the scary lightening and rain to play with the breaker box.
This kind of stuff is why I end up laughing every time someone back home comment on how glamourous the expat life is.
It's the way they say "madam" that really makes you feel like an idiot...which of course you aren't!!! Ask Ali to tell you the story about calling the electrician to "fix" her microwave...it will make you laugh out loud!
Hehe! I'm a recent expat to China, so I can definitely identify!! Our bathroom sink lights have never worked, and when the landlord came to fix them, he sliced his hand open on the glass and had to get stitches.
That's what the previous resident told us, anyway. Sooo... no light over the bathroom sink. Just the flickery dim one on the ceiling.
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