Arabs don't wait in line.
When buying fruits and vegetables at the grocery stores here, you bag your produce then have it weighed before you take it to the check-out counter. I dislike this immensely. Except when shopping with the girls. They seem to enjoy running my produce over to be weighed, and I enjoy their doing it in my stead.
The other day, I was shopping without my girls, so I was waiting to have my produce weighed. There was one person in line in front of me that the clerk was helping. As soon as he finished, I started to hand him a bag when a man came up from behind and threw his bag of cauliflower up to the clerk to have it weighed. I'm standing there. It is obvious it is my turn next. I was mad. And I started thinking about the stereotype. Arabs don't wait in line.
So it comes time to check out. I get flagged over by a clerk just opening her lane. As I approach, so does a man with just one item. "Uh-un. Oh no. He will have to just wait in line. Um hum. I am here to teach the waiting in line lesson." These are my not so generous thoughts.
I'm emptying my cart, and I'm having difficulty lifting my box of milk. Not a single carton. The big box holding like 12 cartons. I just can't quite get a grip.
The man with the one item? He asks if he can give me a hand and picks up the carton. I thank him.
Yes. I feel like an utter heel.
As I get ready to leave, I turn and thank him again. He smiles and tells me I am most welcome and he hopes I am liking it in Jordan. (which believe me, with the war in Gaza? it felt doubly nice to be treated nice.)
Instead of teaching a lesson, I learned my lesson. Don't stereotype. And ~ Let the guy with the one item go first.
10 comments:
Yes oh yes! I love this attitude and completely understand it. My motto for the year is "Be generous" and there are so many ways to do so!
I have lots of stereotypes running through my brain here in China. Often, they turn out to be true. But not always. I wish I knew how the Chinese are stereotyping me - would be interesting. One stereotype about American women abroad that has to be 100% true: we all hate weighing vegetables separately.
Sounds like Norway... I try to keep my nice-ness.. & let people with less go ahead of me & they are always SHOCKED... I feel like smiling & saying PASS IT ON... but they won't.
Even my MIL is a cutter... it makes me so MAD.. & Norwegians NEVEr call each other out on it...Ughhhhh
I agree, it's hard and easy to stereotype people when you live outside your home culture (I do it everyday). We were most shocked after having not so great thoughts about our neighbors when the lady across the street brought over a traditional German cake, on Christmas no less, that her daughter had baked for us.
Heel. Heel. Heel. I felt awful for having uncharitable thoughts (it had never been about those neighbors though). The next day I was back to disliking Germans in general though. I think the way you are treated even by a few can taint the experience (and at nearly year three here it has for me). I certainly hope you can keep an open mind and that you have more experiences like the man who helped you out.
And of course. Stay safe. I worry about you my bloggy friend with all the craziness going on.
Im glad someone was there to help :)
You are right though. Cutting in line is too normal. At least people seem to be complaining about it more than what I am used to. I will not go to many local, large markets, like the local Carrefour (a Walmart-type store, in case you do not have one) because it is expensive, too crowded, and the lines are always insane. I have little kids that I don't want pushed. I actually had to physically shove a man back once - he came right up to me and tried to shoulder his way in... bumped me into the (VERY) elderly Egyptian couple in front of me. Fortunately, I towered over the guy and grabbed/shoved him right back out. The people behind me then pushed him all the way to the end - the lady in front of me reached out, patted my hand and thanked me - a man behind me apologized for his fellow countryman's behavior (Egyptians are such good hosts!). The selfish guy (who actually had MORE items than I or the people ahead of me had) tried to butt into a couple more lines - and not once did he ASK if he could go ahead - and I don't mean 'saying please' or anything, not a word, he just shoved! He gave up and stormed out of the store like a spoiled 2 year old who didn't get his way.
It is best to be peaceful and giving..it's nice, and the best example for our kids, not to mention, less stressful - don't want that negativity getting all over my sparkly-clean karma! ;-) But sometimes you need to draw that line and say "I don't think so!"
What an interesting lesson learned. I've heared that sterotype before, but I'm glad to hear we can break them and nice things can come from it.
I feel your pain sista! I am currently in Israel and deal with this stuff on a DAILY basis. It just gets old.... One good thing is that on a one on one basis they are very kind. Good for you to keep your cool infront of the girlies!!
excellent blog..congartulation from Argentine
Oh, a good story. I guess that's why they say "live and learn," and I would add "try to remember what you learned for the next time."
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